Global Warming, Please Hurry Up.
Johnny strides out the front door onto the street and is walking the short dramatic distance to the convenience store. The weather is harsh this morning. He comes across Albert, a neighbor, an elder wearing a beige woolen hat, winter jacket and is aided by a stick while puffing on a flimsy roll up.
“How is your health Albert?”
“Can’t complain” he responds resignedly.
“How are you son?”
“Surviving” Johnny responds, smiling as always.
“Going to the shop son?”
“Yes I am.”
Johnny takes time analyzing the shelf of newspapers deciding which one to buy. “£2.50 for the Independent” he mumbles. “I might as well go online.” He turns sharply, lifting a bottle of washing up liquid. He pays at the counter as Albert waits for him outside.
As they meander back to their estate a sudden blast of wind and rain distorts their cold looking faces.
“Global warming, please hurry up” Albert spurts out. Johnny laughs aloud.
“I am not looking forward to winter.”
“It’s the snow and the ice I can’t take” Albert immediately responds.
“Since they started going on about global warming, we have had nothing but unpredictable summers, horrendous flooding and falling temperatures.”
“It’s global warming in reverse,” jokes Johnny.
Albert grins then states – “And those poor sods who bought lovely retirement homes on the coast! We are still waiting for that Mediterranean weather they keep promising us. And a Siberian wind is blowing in next week”
“My goodness”, Johnny replies shaking his head.
“The only sun I am guaranteed is my two weeks holiday abroad. I promise you son, not so long ago, I would sit in my back garden sunbathing myself, getting a lovely tan before I went away” he gesticulates with his finger. “I used to come back to England in my shorts and tee shirt. Now? I pack my winter clothes in my suitcase for return.”
Johnny cackles. They stroll slowly ahead.
“It’s not good Albert,” Johnny said shrugging his shoulders, “but surely better days are ahead.”
“I bloody hope so! Global warming, please hurry up.”
They warmly shake right hands.
“We don’t get it that bad really here in the UK”, said Albert.
“You look after yourself son.”
“And you Albert. Take care…”