What is the united kingdom on earth like? It is like the bailed out bank, unmerciful. In 2008 after gambling away it’s customers money, the bank received a life saving bail out from the government of it’s time, and further monies to replenish it’s starving ego. It was said that they would lend this money back to small businesses, householders and those in need to kick start the ailing economy. Over Fifty Billion Pounds though the figure can not be known.
There was a huge sigh of relief. The process of printing and crediting in earnest. The markets rose. Now the bank began its own process of dealing with debtors. A random audit fell on a happily married man owing £10,000. He recently lost his job, a carpenter in fact, but had found another job just today on a zero hour contract.
Living with three teenage daughters, his wife was feeling the stress. Formerly a secretary at a children’s comprehensive school she was on maternity leave awaiting the birth of their fourth child. Since he was not able to pay back the money, the bank had ordered that he, his wife and children sell all they have to repay the debt. A fortnight deadline was set in bricks and mortar. Failure to do so would mean highly paid solicitors getting involved and the family’s home of twelve years repossessed.
This day, the debtor fell on his knees before the bank‘s representative in the small office with white washed walls.“Be patient with me John Smith” the debtor repeatedly begged. (The employee‘s name was tagged on a blue badge pinned to his blue shirt). “I will pay back everything.” But three hundred and thirty six hours was the time confirmed to pay the money back.
When members of the public heard about the story they were outraged. A crew collected more than 100,000 petitions and knocked three times on the heavy black polished door of 10 Downing Street. The Prime Minister, resident at the time, duly opened, and amidst the mandatory flash photography and thorny smiles he invited the petitioners in and sat them round the oval table in the cheap terraced part at the front of the grandiose building. He began to speak:
“You come her complaining about a problem created by that other party. Last week it was betting, this week it is banking. You rise up with all the moral authority of a Reverend Flowers – have they given you an apology for the mess they made in the first place? Would you have bailed out such a perfidious rogue or dare them to relocate to Sierra Leone, with all talents and sundry?
“Now the matter in question. We Are (now) Better Together. The debtor may have his home repossessed. That’s Law. Though my government have built more low cost affordable housing in and around London than any other previous government in the last decade. Leave this case with me. I will ensure this family will get to rent something more manageable, within their means,” he tells them. Then he winks. Then he nods.
After hearing this, the petitioners, male and female, were told of the cosy Cats and Bagpipes pub down the road where they could contemplate the 5 minute meeting with their leader.
The stern but smiling Policeman hurriedly escorts them on their way. They strode the cobbled streets to the exit. The not so pearly gates clunked shut behind them.